Want to know what I do on a road trip to SEC country? How crazy a real WVU student is? Tune in because I am going to give you inside access to my trip to Auburn. I’ll make sure to post some pictures. Now what WVU students do isn’t always what everybody wants to hear. I can’t be Tucker Max on here I gotta keep things civil. I can’t wait to beat those damn hicks!!
8:29 If you read Bill Simmons, chances are you read his running diary of his Las Vegas trip for his fantasy football draft. Each year him and his buddies do a fantasy draft and this year they wound up in Vegas. The sports guy says there is one song that every trip to Vegas continually plays. It always seems to find you. This years song was “Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon. SG and his friends had a great weekend. 8:29 and “Use somebody” comes on the radio. Coincidence? I think not… It’s gonna be a great weekend.
8:30 I text Benti to tell him, he says to take a note.
8:39 Arrive at PIT and it’s time for to be a big boy on my first flight by myself. I dap it up with the boys and it’s time for me to check in by myself.
8:51 All checked in, cue Staples “that was easy” button.
8:57 I am hungry. Lucky for me Pittsburgh International Airport has one of the best food selections. I’m looking for it.. Searching.. McDonald’s Hash browns? Au Bon Pain bagel… not bad back ups.. Oh yes there it is.. Sbarro.. my favorite.
9:00 Swipe the plastic to get two slices of cheese pizza and a pepsi, who says pizza and soda at 9 am isn’t good…. Ya, your right, everyone knows that. Oh well it’s going to be a great weekend, it’s gotta be… Kings of Leon insures me of it. Mine as well go big or go home.. I’m going to treat myself to a couple slices of pizza on this trip, maybe have a beer or two, hell, maybe I’ll even stay up past midnight!
9:07 Stroll up to D terminal gate 80 and I can already see Mountaineer nation surrounding me. This is a very good sign.
9:11 They do a tribute to the soldiers on the flight returning home. They also begin boarding the first section. Let me remind you its 9:11, scary and creepy weird but I guess these are the strange things you come upon when doing a running diary.
9:17 Board the flight. There is a group of about ten guys around me that have been going on one away trip a year for the last ten years. That’s pretty cool and something I would like to do down the road.
9:18 See my two colleagues Brian Gawthrop and John Terry, the editors for the Daily Antheaum. They are on the same flight as me, we say hello.
9:19 This didn’t take long, the group of guys around me are already cracking me up. Let me give you the dialogue:
Young guy: How are we even getting to Auburn?
Big Fella: We rented a van that seats like 15 people.
Young guy: Well who’s driving? I can’t drive.
Big Fella: I can’t drive I already been drinkin’ that’s my reason.
Guy infront of me: I am already hammered I been drinking, I can’t drive.
Big Fella: Ya you got those shots:
Guy infront: Ya I still got some crown in my system.
Young guy: Yeah you took those double shots! You shouldn’t have taken those double shots!
9:22 The guy infront of me has sparked conversation with a cute young girl beside him. He asks her if she’s ever dated older men… He’s about 40… I swear.
9:34 The big fella tells another one of them to check out an email he got on his palm pilot. The guy says “Oh he’s still around?” Big Fella responds by saying, “Ya I guess so the guys 40 years old still lives at home with his Mom, it ‘s like Step Brothers” Everyone around laughs as he recites “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds? We’ll have so much room for all the activities!” Great Flick…
9:48 The woman next to me arrives. She is wearing almost like a snuggie like in those commercials. I’m chuckling as I type this, hopefull she doesn’t look over huh? But no its like a fleece blanket wrapped around her. She either has swine and I’m fucked… Or she is somehow cold in this hot weather.. Either way.. weird…
9:46 Get the turn off your electronics it’s time for take off announcement over the loud speaker… Let’s see what SkyMiles catalog has on sale for $4,200….
9:48: Biggest rip off I see right off the bat is the “classic gazing ball” you know what I’m talking about? The glass bowling ball which is always obscure colors, people put them on bird baths… Ya, well you can get one for 90 bucks. I’m thinking about asking for it for Christmas…
9:48 That was a joke… I need the Winter Classic Bruins jersey, that thing is out of control!
10:31 After a brief delay on the run way we are up above 10,000 feet and I can now be typing. Put on the head phones trying to get mentally prepared for this weekend.
10:32 Thinking about how I am going to out drink, out dress (WV Whale Pants), and out cheer any Auburn fan this weekend.
10:37 “Country Roads” is playing on my lap top. Thinking about whether or not to get it going as we land. I proba
bly won’t, but that would be fucking sweet if I did. You dare me to? I’ll keep you posted.. Obviously…
10:38 The drink ladies come around, big fella gets a vodka and coke. There ya go big guy, his friend orders a Miller light, good choice, Young Fella gets a Jack and Coke.. The most superior choice. Mountaineer Nation has been known to put a few back…
10:39 I get asked if I want a drink for the fourth time after repeatedly saying no thank you. She must have liked the five dollar tip big fella gave her, probably wouldn’t of even carded me…
10:44 I’m beat.. gotta be ready to go for tonight. Kellie Pickler’s in town.. Nap time. Check in later.
10:51 The boys ask for refills on their drinks, the big blonde flight attendant, lets call her Big Blonde Bertha, is their for them.
10:52 The other flight attendant is walking down the aisle counting her money, I feel like she is a stripper at the end of the night walking out of the club counting her dollar bill tips.. She must be thinking “I love these drunk West Virginia folks”… I can’t sleep by the way.
10:54 We are landing.. Have to turn this off.. That was really, really quick!
11:50 So the pilot duped me. Congratulations you told me we were landing and we needed to turn off electronics an hour before we really needed to. PS I didn’t have the balls to start singing country roads… I’m sorry.
11:51 Called my mom told her I wasn’t gonna make it home for supper… nah I told her I landed, texted my buddy Tommy who is playing host for this weekend told him to get his ass here! Now I’m just chilling taking in the Atlanta atmosphere at the airport.
11:52 No Matt Ryan, Chipper Jones, Bobby Cox, Chingy, Jermaine Dupri, C. Love, or TI sightings yet.. I’ll keep looking.
11:53 I sincerely think that the guy a few tables down from me is the real Patch Adams. You know the movie Patch Adams, with Robin Williams? I watched it yesterday the REAL Patch (based on a true story) lives in WV, google image him if you have never seen him—it’s a sight to see, and anyways I think that’s him? Could it be?
12:33 Made the move to outside so I can wait for my ride.. In such a little transition many interesting things happened.. Let’s recap… I went to the bathroom where I saw two Auburn fans, they say “Don’t tell me West Virginia” they say to have fun and tell me that they are very nice down in Auburn. They again make a back handed comment about their trip to Morgantown last year, saying our fans weren’t too nice. No we were actual “brutal” I told them I am only a freshman and I’m sorry their trip didn’t go well. Wished ‘em luck and was on my way. So I walk up to Starbucks. There was three black girls working. The one at the register was staring at me as I was waiting in line, she was also very rude to the woman in front of me asking “KAPACHINO OR FRAPACHINO, BITCH?!” Nah she didn’t say bitch but it’d be better if she did. I get up and she was very nice to me. I make my order and she responds “Are those your real eyes?” I was completely taken back by this so I couldn’t think of anything good to say so I insured her they were indeed, my real eyes. She thought they were fake and I guess the southern girls really like my baby blues. The other two girls came over and gazed into the beauties, all in awe. I knew I was G, but taking over Atlanta within minutes, damn it feels good to be a gangster.
12:40 I wish I could’ve got a picture of the girl that just walked by but I couldn’t get my camera out in time. Damn! She was wearing like two pink what I believe were like balloons? Attached to both ears… Weird.
12:41 A huge red headed dude wearing a size XX Small t-shirt when he should be 3xl just gets out of his car, zipper down. He realizes it but can’t make the move. He turns and runs back to his car reaching for the zipper… and we have company on the bench. Yankees hat… and chain smoking.
12:44 I am coughing so maybe they will stop blowing smoke directly into my face.. Beats Morgantown where you can smoke basically anywhere (Bars, stadium) You walk into the bar and there are three hundred people chain smoking like its 1954… Good year my Grandma always told me…
12:45 Logan shoots me a text saying the team is close to Atlanta. I am guessing they will do a quick walk through tonight… Scooter Berry and Reed Williams will supposedly play tomorrow… I don’t buy it but I’ll try to sell every Auburn fan that brings it up its true.
12:47 I think (cough) Bill (huge cough) Gates just walked by me… Maybe he does Matty Ice’s finances
12:49 See a Celtics T-shirt… that’s refreshing.
12:51 Segway cop gives someone who pulled up to pick someone up a ticket for not having a front license plate. THAT SUCKS! Having a segway rent-a-cop write you a ticket on the street. Rough!! Gonna try to get a pic.. Got it!!
1:30 Get a text from my other buddy Logan who is on the team—WE IN THE ATL GOT A POLICE ESCORT BALLIN—Must be nice..
1:47 I really am not making this up. My buddy will back me up completely. We are driving in the fast lane and there is a car in the slow lane with WVU stickers and shit on his back windows. I see this, wearing my WVU hat and t-shirt, and put down my window. The guy sees that I am putting down my window too so he puts his down. Now, there was an Auburn sticker on the back of the car, and on the dashboard infront of me there was a Auburn hat. BUT I AM IN ALL WVU STUFF! So we pull up and I’m all pumped up for another WVU fan, the guy reaches out of his car and tries to pepper spray me. Thank god he missed. The dude tried to fucking pepper spray me. He soon realized I was on the same side and could visibly seem sorry. Damn, WVU fans are even hard to their own kind.
2:11 See a huge KIA factory. That was fun… 40 min until Auburn
2:19 We share stories about WVU and Auburn, comparing classes, party stories, campuses.
2:31 See aton of Auburn fans driving by.
2:43 Tommy has to take a piss so we fill up.. he really couldn’t wait the 6 miles till we entered Auburn?
2:51 We are in Auburn. I have never seen so many fast food chains on a street in my whole life. Picture the road when you get off 495
to head to Gillette Stadium, then multiply it by 26 fast food restaurants.. Yep, you got it.
3:10 Tommy takes me up to “The Hill” where his dorm is, shows me old frat row and new frat row… Some of these houses are unreal, especially his roommate Casey’s frat.. very nice.
3:16 I think I see it.. yup.. I caught a glimpse of the stadium. That thing is unreal!
3:18 Go by the quads, apartments, and I see a library that looks like it could be the size of a basketball arena (not joking).
3:30 Get to Tommy’s dorm to leave off my stuff, we each pound a cold one (thank god) and I meet his roommate Casey. He’s got a nice spot, I think my room is bigger, but he had a nice comfy AU chair that I wish I had (WVU obviously)
3:40 We head over to the Frat house Kappa Sigma, which is a rental house they university set them up in because of an electrical fire the year before. This house really is straight out of Animal House.
3:47 Arrive at the house he introduces me to Moose, an older brother in the Frat.
3:50 He wakes up another older brother Cullen like he was supposed to. They tell him to head over to the real Kappa Sig house to sent up the tent for tomorrow.
4:00 We arrive, they have a huge lawn and that is where people tailgate. They already have a couple RV’s parked there.. People that pay for student passes.
4:01 I meet some of his pledge brothers: Wilson, Floyd, Sprinkles (forget other names).
4:10 After shooting the shit for a bit about my flight, WVU etc. they begin setting up the tent. Busting eachother’s balls the whole time.
4:14 I’m just chilling on a platform watching them… I’m on vacation I know you don’t expect me to help.. OK I’ll go help.
4:15 Get the green light to go out with a pledge named Jake and another kid whose name I forget, for the sake of this we’ll call him Tony.
4:18 Wilson tells them about all the booze they need to get for the tailgate. They are going to run a pledge bar and charge a buck a drink for alumni, the older brothers, and who ever else wants one. This makes me very happy…
4:20 I see a couple coeds run by… Gotta love the south…
4:31 The tent is done! We hop in Floyds car and head back to the quads to drop Sprinkles off at his apartment to shower. First we got to see a nice good old fashioned rasslin’ fight between Jake and Sprinkles. I would hand it to Sprinkles…
4:37 After dropping him off we drive back to the house… The Animal House..
4:44 We get back and the older brothers are eating dinner. I met them all but again, I am horrible with names. I remember the president Ben, because he was a ginger. They were all really nice. Tommy has to do sober driving tonight starting at 6 he has to drive all the older brothers around.
5:11 We head over to a brother’s girlfriend’s house Lisa, she offers to let Jake and Tony borrow her brand new Jeep Liberty for the night. Excitement takes place…
5:22 They drop me off so I can get ready for the night. I shot gun two Keystones hop in the shower and put on my very best WVU Polo and am ready for a night on the town.
5:34 I walk out to the front gate (they block off all the roads the day before and the day of games.. It’s supposed to cut down traffic but instead I think it just makes it worse)
5:36 I start talking with the “Gate keeper” atleast trying to talk to him his southern accent is so thick I pick up about one word every two sentences. I am trying…
5:37 I notice the biggest spider I have ever seen in person hanging from a stop sign right next to my head. I try not to cry, or scream like a little girl, infront of the gate keeper.
5:41 Jake picks me up and we are off to the gas station.
6:03 I really strongly considered getting Blue Moon, keep it classy right? Well the price changed my mind but I could atleast get Coors light. The mountains are blue.
6:04 The two guys at the counter basically tell me that WVU fans sucked in Morgantown.. Again I tell them I am sorry.
6:06 I walked out uncarded (big smile) and it’s time to show these guys how Morgantown breeds drinkers.
6:10 Driving to Sprinkles we see many Mountaineer fans I put down my window and yell out “Lets go!” They respond by yelling “Mountaineers!” I can’t wait. I really can’t.
6:21 We arrive at Sprinkles suite. Walking in with a backpack the size of a small state on a Friday night… not suspicious or anything… I get a “West Virginia fan? You must be lost” from some idiot kid I insure him I came down for a football game the next day.. I am not lost…
6:29 Arrive in the Sprinkles Suite. It is so nice. Central AC (not used to that), huge TV, kitchen area, couches… He’s basically living the life. We pound a couple brewskis and another pledge that I forget his name we will call him Ozzy for the sake of names.. tells me I am coming with him and Jake. I say that’s cool by me.
6:50 We leave Sprinkle’s and hop in the car. We pick up another kid and go back to Lisa’s for some more drinking.
7:08 There are smoking girls EVERYWHERE! Beers and Brods, can’t complain.
7:11 Some drunken kid turns Jim Carrey’s ‘How the G
rinch stole Christmas’ on HBO. I don’t complain because I am a guest… but that’s the best he could come up with?
7:14 There is a dog running around the house. A lot of dogs down there which I love.
8:00 I have been chilling for a while talking to the pledges and some girls about WVU, explaining how a typical night goes in Morgantown.
8:11 I tell Jake the one thing I NEEED in Auburn is some nice southern wings.
8:12 He looks at me and says “You wanna get some?”
8:44 After a half hour wait, four beers, six bathroom trips, and two dog encounters later, the wings arrive.
8:52 They are gone. They were so good. I couldn’t have looked that attractive while I DEVOURED these wings like Kobayashi does with hot dogs. I didn’t care. They were that good.
9:02 This isn’t good, Almost out of my twelve pack.
9:11 I don’t know just to keep the 9/11 thing going…
9:21 It’s still early and there are a lot of options for the night ahead of us. At southern schools band parties are pretty big. This sounds intriguing because the only thing better then wings when your drunk is live music.
9:49 We decide to go to Mooses. We stumble to the car and we are OUT!
10:12 We make it to Mooses. I walk into what seems to be like a condo. Ozzy asks me if I wanna play beer pong. I agree, but tell him I don’t know if my usual Ray Allen clutch shot will be there at this point of time.
10:18 It’s not there. We are getting smoked with a naked lap in sights.
10:21 Ozzy makes a cup. Thank god.
10:27 I make two in a row… FIRE!
10;43 We lose. I’m out of beer. It’s 5 bucks a cup for the keg out back. I snipe a red plastic cup make my way out back, water someone’s bushes, and then fill her up.
10:55 After a little mingling out back I sit down next to a cute blonde girl on the couch.
11:02 I want to play it cool. I am in no state to not think this through. It is a must I come up with a good line. Just got to figure out what it will be…
11:09 So I have been sitting next to her for 15 minutes in dead silence. She probably noticed me in a drunken gaze staring at her.
11:11 The perfect time.
11:11 “So.. where you from?” “Indiana”
11:12 I tell her I know a girl from Indiana who went to Auburn, we spark up a conversation. She notices I’m from Boston immediately.
11:18 I decided to leave her alone after she told me she loved Peyton Manning…
11:22 Go fill her up with some jungle juice.
11:29 Slug down the JJ and I’m feeling a little shaky, I cannot lie. Head out back to get another brew.
11:37 Walk back out front. I knew it. I knew this morning when I was dead tired that at some point I was going to hit a wall. It’s like the great wall of China and you just gotta bust through it.
11:44 Sitting on a little ledge (notice the only two people I know Jake, and Ozzy… are gone) (GREAT!)
11:52 Start talking to a guy in a Red Sox hat. He’s from Alabama but a huge sox fan. He said he’s been up to Boston and has family in Maine (I think, maybe it was NH) and he loves the city.
12:01 I find out he is actually in Tommy’s frat, he’s an older brother.
12:02 A girl calls him to see if she’s going to be his date for the game tomorrow (yes, they bring dates to the games)
12:10 He tells me he would love to work in Boston and move up North…
12:12 Another call from another girl asking if she is going to be his date.
12:13 While Boston George is on the phone Moose comes over to talk to me.
12:17 We are both comatoast so this should be good..
12:19 Our discussion continues and he tells me that I need to join a frat.
12:21 After telling him frats weren’t really my thing he goes into beast mode. It was like he was trying to convince me to join his frat. “I don’t even go here…” I’m thinking to myself…
12:33 Some kid tells me how bad Auburn is gonna smoke us. I tell him all I can hope for coming to SEC country is a close game…
12:42 Tommy comes from out of nowhere! He tells me he’ll drive me back we just have to make some pit stops.
12:46 After getting in the car I notice Jake and Ozzy, Jake is a little under the weather…
12:54 We drop a few brothers off at the frat house.
1:04 Tommy is taking calls like the secretary of state, everyone wants a ride.
1:13 We drop Ozzy off at his place.
1:30 Jake makes a run to his dorm door after we see a cop writing up two girls for being too drunk.
1:36 Tommy drops me off at the hill. I have to walk to the dorm, get a little shit from two drunken kids.
1:42 I set up my little sleeping grounds. Concrete floor this should be nice.
1:51 I try to set up my wireless but it’s just not happening.
1:54 Tommy texts me his id and password so I can get on. I need my late night Tetris fix! And I need it now!
2:02 No dice. It’s just not happening. I go to the bathroom, brush the teeth.
2:06 Walk over to Casey’s fridge, grab a water and slug it down like I just walked across the Sahara dessert.
2:11 Night night!
Part 2 Covering Saturday to be uploaded soon! Enjoy the pictures and the read!
(Note: This will say posted by Benti but credit is too be given to Brad. Note the One love.)